~Just a Link~

New home

2011-07-31T14:29:00.001-07:00

MOVED :)

If you are deemed to be an eligible reader, you should know your way.

Happy birthday to your idolzzZ

2011-07-26T14:48:00.000-07:00

I missed you...how?

On the other hand, happy birthday to myself :) :)

To commiserate that I am no longer eligible for a Young Person Railcard anymore, I bought myself a top as present.

Quote Lihua - "Sailor inspired?"

Quote Black - "Popeye?"

Please can people have some sense of hweashion? This is hweashionable ok!

Birthday wish is......to be happy most of the times :)

2011-07-20T15:21:00.000-07:00

Got this forwarded email from a friend and thought I'd share some of the precious quotes I truly appreciate:

I believe...

that no matter how good a friend is, they are going to hurt you every once in a while, and you must forgive them for that.

that it's taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.

that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. Being naive could be the smartest thing to do.

that either you control your attitude or it controls you.

that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.

And lastly....

that the people you care about most in life, are often taken from you too soon.

I hope you find it inspiring too.

A week to my 26th birthday. Happy getting old to myself :)

Updates

2011-07-18T16:50:00.002-07:00

Went to Windsor last weekend. Not many of group pictures - a lot of pictures of myself (as usual). A few pictures of your co-idol.

So, how has it been a year already? :)

I am genuinely grateful to have found the Black. He may not be the one who has given me the strongest feeling but he is definitely someone who has treated me with the best he could. Nasty experience in the past tells me that nothing is perfect and I am happy with what I have now.

Another happy piece of news to share - Black is officially a qualified Fellow of Institute of Actuaries now :D!!!! I shall celebrate this by posting some pictures of the Actuary:

-End-

Finally come to realise...

2011-07-17T15:56:00.000-07:00

the main functions of the Black.

Damn, why did I bother to have a cleaner before?

2011-07-12T14:47:00.000-07:00

Where is the professionalism? You may not have it in yourself, but please ensure it exists within your attitude in the office.

Very disturbed.

Well lets look at something happy which have been missing on facebook:

a pretty posh toilet sign

Waiting for my pizza to come.

Black has nothing better to do apart from getting drunk after being forced to attend a girls outing.

Lihua banned me from posting this - please spot something golden here.

Last but not least........O Hai.....(Like some sort of creature here)

On the other hand, things are still the same :) :)

忘了忘不了

2011-07-05T16:37:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJsFaUBWnQc&feature=related

2011-07-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

Bye bye Towers Watson.

More than just the title of 'Benefits Consultant' that is being left behind...for good?

_______

Btw, just in case you miss my face......:D

hou shy hou shy hou shy hou shy...

2011-06-27T17:10:00.000-07:00

The feeling of feeling nothing, is great :)

Since when it's gone...?

2011-05-20T12:58:00.000-07:00

As time passes, I am running out of ideas and energy to carry on with this.

I worked hard to hold on but it shouldn't be something that even needs my effort.

Give up?

Serious problem here....

2011-04-29T18:11:00.000-07:00

I let you see something.....

Can you see anything's wrong here? Don't try to say the whole face is wrong....no jokes now!!

See again....

and again....(suolli, I don't mean to repeat my face here. I just want to scrutinise this from different angles and perspectives)

Do you think I am cock-eyed?!!?!?!?!?!?!? How come I do think so. Look at my left eye!!!! I just discovered this and am becoming very anxious about it.

But usually it's not obvious in my normal pictures when I smile:

(still quite obvious when I pay more attention now)

or when I just show a slightly side view (which I do it 90% of the times....to make the face smaller). But it could also be the reason that I did it too much and made my left eye getting more and more inwards....:S

How how how?!?!?!

One of my friends asked if I have lazy eye because that will cause me to over-use one side of my eye then lead to the consequence of another eye being lazy, or.....cock-ed (what a term). And I do. My left eye is severely shortsighted. I don't like to wear my glasses because they are heavy. And I don't know how to wear contact lenses. According to a girl in the spectacles shop - MY EYES ARE NOT BIG ENOUGH....and she was wearing contact lenses with her thread-like eyes!!!!

Is it going to get more serious if I keep leaving my glasses behind and refuse to wear them?

2011-04-27T16:13:00.001-07:00

Sometimes I hope I can be like the times when I was still naive - the times when I could have my temper tantrums when I am rejected, show my discontents if I dislike something and cry when things are not going well. Then, things will somehow get brighter after that.

As you grow up, you will realise you learn to be considerate, you learn to compromise with the things that are going out of track and you learn to accept that you are not the centre of the world. People around you do not have to tolerate with you, and your mistakes.

You develop the skill to face declines, refusal and accusations. Because you know no one has the responsibilities and obligations to be there for you. No one. On the contrary, people will exploit your weaknesses and toy with your feeling. So I learn to smile to everyone no matter how uncomfortable I get inside.

But can I cry tonight?

Don't exploit my feeling. I can be weak now but I will be strong one day, I swear.

2011-04-25T04:55:00.000-07:00

Talk to me. I am bored.

I haven't been properly speaking (as in using mouth and voice) to anyone for almost a week. Actually I did. I sent three TalkBox messages, with no reply coming back.....

People nowadays like to play with my feeling. They sent you a Talkbox message saying 'hello' or one even worse, just 'fatttyyy'........
and then when you reply, and wait......and wait....and wait.......they don't give a damn anymore....what is going on? F!

My fragile heart cannot take this. Don't do it :@@@@@@@@@@@@

Photo blog

2011-04-23T18:34:00.000-07:00

Just a random photo blog that I usually do around my exam revision time. Honestly, I have zero confidence. The more I study Actuarial Science, the more I realise I am getting stupider - or just I wasn't that excellent to start with. :(

Getting all bored with my studies - there I went to the park to sit on the swing, observing all the kids. A black little kid insisted to go onto a baby swing which his brother has warned that he is too big for that. Stubborn and difficult kid - he went onto it and his brother left him to play with others. Eventually he got stuck, of course. So with his little voice he turned to me and said 'can you help me to get out of this....'

Hahahahaha....why kids need to be so conventionally stubborn and do the opposite of what others say?! Is that a compulsory learning process....hm..

If anyone still remembers the egg joke I blogged a few years ago?

This! (second entry)

I found the illustration of it on the Chinese twitter!! Still funny to me. Hehehe...

O hai....random self portrait.
A piece of salami offered by my colleague. Something that happens rarely - so rare that it might be the first time I am getting a PIECE OF MEAT from her....err..
Random toy I found in co-idol's room. This is being claimed to be a Secret Santa gift back in a few years ago. I wonder why people bought this as a CHRISTMAS GIFT?!

Apologies for the following two photos but you know when you can't leave the place to do anything exciting, this is all my enjoyment at the moment. Please bear with me for a while... :D

Wanted to take recent photos of myself to put on blog - so I thought it would be good to also show one with horror/haunted feel. Thank you. Enjoy.

___________________

Anyways, does anyone realise that memory by melody and smell are always stronger than memory by sight? Because I do.

2011-04-21T19:29:00.000-07:00

Ups and downs. Why the downs are always dominating over the ups?

Because the up-pest up is missing.

An evil womb

2011-04-18T11:48:00.000-07:00

Dear womb

I have been treating you well.

Over the winter, I insulate you with extra layers of fat, keep you warm and safe.

When the summer approaches, I give you enough cushion to withstand any external strike.

I have never demanded you to conceive any kids for me. You have been always free and vacant.

But....but.... why are you repaying all these with this increasingly unbearable pain which tortures me on a monthly basis?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!? And with an increasing time period!!!!!!!!!!! Can you please behave and make my life easier. Otherwise, I swear I will take you out to step on the floor :@ :@ :@

or....occupy you with a baby!!!! Then you don't regret! :@ Niama.

___________________________________________

On another note, Becca, you now have a pair of ears with bracelet. See below:

Your co-idol for no reason made me angry on a day. There he drew these as compensation....

God, can I exchange him for someone more matured (and preferably hotter), say Daniel Wu would be good enough....

2011-04-07T09:26:00.000-07:00

I just realised...I can finally blog from my sexy iPhone?!

Testing testing 123

2011-04-03T15:18:00.000-07:00

Am at a hotel in Sheffield by myself. 4 hours of car journey by myself - FMLkk...

kk= kao kao

Btw, look at my dark circle!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's spreading to my cheeks...d'eau!

Time to sort it out - GOOD NIGHT WORLD!!!

PS - Fanz, do you like my self portrait here? *shy*

If you give me April Fool, I will return it with Qingming

2011-03-31T17:36:00.000-07:00

Actuaries' April fool joke....urgh! Let's see tomorrow if the office will be echoed with 'Dispense, 1 Latte'.

Do we not need to say 'please'?

2011-03-29T12:47:00.001-07:00

Can I be a bit irrational tonight? Can I just type away how I really felt? Just tonight. Something that I have long held in my heart, is still there, somewhat unsurprisingly. Subconsciously, I have accepted it and lived with it, almost comfortably.

Can I just say I still miss you? Can I just say I still want to hug you for one last time and tell you how much I have thought about you every single day? Can I just say nothing is the same anymore ever since your departure? Can I also just say I would very very like to see you for once more and ask how you have been?

You are not the perfect person - nothing near perfect in fact. But you have managed to stay and made your presence for long. I am not sure how long it'd be, but it is definitely stopping me from treating others fairly. I really thought it has gone away. I almost believed I am what I said and how I appeared to be. I conveniently assumed that it will quietly fade away. There is always a bit more before I manage to achieve that and yet, I have never been able to reach there.

There is a soft spot somewhere. Fragile and vulnerable. Like a patch of loosen soil on the ground - it's just not as hard as the rest anymore despite my vast effort to seal and tighten it back.

我用尽了全部全部的力量去珍惜眼前的人,花完了所有所有的心机去忘掉,等了好久好久的时间让自己平复不再无病呻吟...但只需模糊的三言两语,之前的一切努力用力就消失得无影无踪了.

Have I told you that....

2011-03-02T04:39:00.000-08:00

I tweet now!! :D :D

FanzzZ, please keep yourself calm.

However I dont' do it via the popular choice Twitter because I am that special. In fact, I am a frequent user of Sina Weibo! So frequent that I am so addicted to it. Checking quarter-hourly to see if my lover Nick Cheung Ka Fai has woken up and how he feels every day. I have never felt that close with him. =O~~

So what more to wait? Register yourself and stalk me.

http://t.sina.com.cn/1920172921

(Please let me know if the link above does not work as I am not so familiar with this thing yet although I am addicted.)

It's time time to say ho ho ho

2010-12-23T03:55:00.000-08:00

Alright. Ignore what people say, ignore what I really think, ignore everything.
I will find a way to deal with it, somehow, some time. Not now probably coz I am pretty stuck, in terms of a lot.

Put aside all the unpleasant side dishes, enjoy the main meal now - the Santa Claus...I mean Christmas and New Year, the greeting season.
Merry christmas to my two loyal fanzzZ and my bff LiHuaWong, and anyone who happened to stumble across my blog.

Whether it be something good or bad, you will have had something to celebrate this year and remember 2010 by. I hope everyone has a great Christmas to bring the year to a close, and look forward to January. Be refreshed and ready for 2011!

New year resolution - Learn to drink. Ok, this photo I was cheating. I didn't swallow the beer. I don't like drinking because my alcohol tolerence is low.

I really want to learn. Everytime it is just uncool to stand in the pub, holding J2O the passion fruit, while others are sipping their Ale. Niama.

Maybe I should start with Yomeishu on a nightly basis.

Sneak preview of the coming album - Manhattan skyline.

Why the pigeons stand on the ice when they clearly were trying to warm themselves up? Pigeons aren't very smart, are they?

2010-12-22T14:53:00.000-08:00

Doing inappropriate things during inappropriate times can be harmful.

I am trying my best to sound alright and I totally understand the situation - but I was just hoping for 'is everything ok?'. And I was being too ambitious to think people would understand.

Bombarding me with questions and inappropriate topics exhausts me.

Maybe something is missing, something is lacking. I am honestly tired. Having to think that everything is right, having to constantly escape from facing the true-self and having to frequently avoid the question.

I want people who do care for me to be happy and think everything is going alright. Subconsciously, I also want myself to believe that. And because of that, I am not.

When I was little, I heard of a theory which I always think it sounds ridiculous....When I am actually experiencing now, I am in fear to face the reality. I did not dare to ask if I am genuinely strong and happy.

Maybe I should rest for a while.

Yesterday was a friend's birthday whom I haven't been in contact with for a while. I sincerely hope that you are doing well and be happy. It has been a while...but I miss you as much as I did, if not more.

The reason I keep a blog..

2010-12-03T13:58:00.000-08:00

is to post childish photos like these...then I can still appear to be matured, steady, calm, capable, gentle, pretty, hot on facebook....(key descriptions are the last few)

A night when I was going to have exam tomorrow and staying in a hotel by myself with my bolster. I was having difficulty getting to sleep because I happened to just bring one (of the two) bolsters with me :( I thought I am matured now and gradually growing out of sleeping with the sausage-bolsters...and this is not the case, unfortunately.
Christmas present

While people was busy making the Malaysian pancake, this is what I was doing - providing entertainment.

It's the office christmas decoration again. As usual, my corner has the 'grandest' festive environment....not sure why - probably the people sitting at this corner are very lively :S (definitely this excludes me). Because I am considered as little in the UK (that's why I never want to go back to Malaysia!!), I am delegated the job to climb up to the desk and do the hanging :D
Poor SHX...:( All buried peacefully under the snow. I hope it can still be switched on again after all these snow chaos *fingers crossed* I haven't tried...
When walking back to my flat, along the street of my residential area.
I checked the surrounding to make sure there is no other pedestrians/cars passing by, and then quickly take this. Sounds a little bit creepy, me.
My flat can be festive too!!! Not hosting any christmas dinner/party - I just always wanted a christmas tree in my flat.....:O

(I think I am wearing shorts in the photo........no, I am definitely wearing..trust me *shy*)

A good friend asked if I am happy these days... I have never thought about it. I think at least I don't sit at home, stare at walls, and feel terrible as often. So, is it a 'yes'?

I like people asking me if I am happy instead of 'how are you' or 'is everything good'...because only people who do care, do ask that :)

2010-12-02T16:06:00.000-08:00

I want to make it a habit. I want to blog more often. At least once in a week. It doesn't need to be a lengthy wordy entry. It can be just a photo I took during the week. Does it sound good?

We will see how long this lasts...

This is a boring week with the snowy days and highest temperature of -4C (not -1C anymore). Everyday I will just struggle to crawl to work in the snow. I am not joking but walking in the snow is like parading. I have to lift my slim long sexy legs high up every step I walk- because the snow is about as thick as me.

The startin of the snow chaos. I was thinking to myself and blaming that the snow wasn't building up and just causing troubles. Who knows....it's now a foot thick. F!

The supermarket is like a war ground. People just grabbed whatever they can. It is like they are going into their 3-month hibernation in the hole like the ground squirrel :S

No bread, no meat. Good thing is I have stored a lot during normal days, in my body.

Ok, I just put this out of my urge, and also for my fanzzZ to admire my face before going to bed nightly. This is when I finished showering and ready to snuggle into my warm oily duvet, watching the snow pouring outside.

It reminds me so much when I walk in the snow again :) Time flies. Time heals. Time does magic - but time also leaves you with memories, be it good or bad.

Quiz - I was thinking thinking thinking....what do we call snow in Malay? Then I kept on having 'ais' in my mind...hahahaha....(and if you wonder, no, it's not ais :S)

2010-11-19T17:08:00.000-08:00

So, maybe I was being too ambitious to have thought that it could possibly be forgotten and replaced...

Becca & Bear Co.

2010-11-11T06:33:00.000-08:00

This entry is specially dedicated to one of my (altogether I have 2) most loyal fanzzZ - Rebecca Thong Bui Eng.

Heart filled wishes on your wedding. All the best for you two today and forever; may God grant you a happy married life (with babies who inherit your body/legs....whose face then? I wanted to say Bear's face...but then hor.......)

PS - It's time to abandon Tommy and Mary. Have some real kids.

Becca, I like your big eyes here. Photoshop can enlarge the eyes nowadays? What a modern world....

Very lomantic....and shy. Bear looked like he just wanted to go home and have lunch.

Becca, you are pweety and Bear is cute.

(Becca, lei hou leng, lei hou jeng.)

PS - I think you should request to have a photo with hot pants...to show off your long legs.

SiewYoke --> Sassy

2010-11-10T03:10:00.000-08:00

This fatty has comfortably and easily settled in an Engrish family now. I can see that she has grown horizontally substantially. However, her chinese identity is soon to be removed as the new owner has just informed me that they intend to address her as 'Saskia'. The male owner wants her to be 'Sasha', though. They are being undecisive and are calling Siew Yoke as 'Sassy' now (sounds like Sexy to me).

With different names being called, Siew Yoke will be confused. She is becoming a lost soul :(

Some photos from the new family. I am happy to see that she is all good (or even leading a better life) in her new home.

I miss her. Maybe I shall pay her a visit over the Christmas.
Being still able to see her when I miss her, is blissful :)

Faaaat!!!! Like a balllll...........

As usual, she likes anything she first sees!

Handsome! .....I mean pweety.

Bidding farewell is never easy...

2010-10-19T14:45:00.000-07:00

This time, I have to say goodbye to her

I have been trying to keep her but getting runny nose and teary eyes on a daily basis is really not the way to go forwards. I am allergic to her fur!! :*(

I have put up an advert on the Gumtree. Right after 20 minutes I have put it up, 26 views and 2 calls showing interest! (Damn, I wish I could be as likeable as she is!)

There is this student called Jack who has approached me. I think he would be able to provide a good home.

"I am a student staying in a 1-bedroom flat with garden. I am available at home most of the time. I have had cats before but currently am having no pets."

Great. I am going to fetch SiewYoke there tomorrow to check out the place. If it is not classhy enough, I am not going to let SY to stay there!

Another problem is should I insist him to continue calling her as Siew Yoke and tell Jack that she is a British-born Chinese?

Heartfelt sorrow. Thinking optimistically, Jack might be able to keep SY company more often.

Bye bye Siew Yoke :*(

2010-10-16T04:30:00.000-07:00

這夜你不在了

想起最感人那景點　也去過不少

有些感覺變了　才記起每次我都在笑

怕記不起是痛悲

Learning to view some feelings in another perspective :)

"Eh is this going to be something short term?"

"............Hmm...............No............Hehe."

Maybe there is something missing - but perhaps this is how things work in the world?

PS - One (short) post in a month, please bear with my busy schedule. Quote my mum 'hao mat 7 lar.... (sit what 7 exam lar)'. Maybe this auntie should behave a little bit.

2010-09-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

Eyelids are twitching still. Got very exhausted from studies. So there I drove to a hilltop to relax.

很想忘记,却很喜欢回忆.

2010-09-12T16:56:00.000-07:00

An evening that I woke up from my nap feeling helpless. The feeling of being helpless that I used to have so often back in younger times. Back in school days, I have always felt horrible if I woke up to have found most of the day has gone and I haven't accomplished much. This leftover feeling haunts me every now and then in the present. I dislike evening when the sky is reddish and the next thing you know your surrounding is dark and quiet. That explains why I always like to wake up and find someone I know I can rely on sleeping next to me.
I can't remember what the dream was exactly about but I know it wasn't a frightening one. It was actually something that used to be so familiar but no longer exists. The emptiness was swallowing my heart at the moment I opened my eyes. Then I started to cry loudly, so loud that I did not bother to hold myself back. I know all these frustration has been long hidden forcefully, by me. All the current stress from work and exams have somehow scooped it out from the bottom of my heart.
I don't know why I am revealing the fact that I have been crying all day for no reason as this makes me sound like a crazy woman. However some said cry helps you to detox and then move on feeling strong again.
I hope it is true but I don't like this. Sometimes I wonder if I can be all good again.

One of the many nights...

2010-08-09T18:50:00.001-07:00

Sleepless night due to my insistency to gobble down (plus digest) all the accounting standards IAS19, FRS17 etc forcefully before. Nothing better to do apart from blogging to vomit out my somewhat vulnerable emotions recently.

Not sure what was the real reason behind but I have been feeling that I am losing my ability to be in a relationship. I don't know how to give more. I don't know how to show someone that I care. I don't know how to not avoid some questions which I used to be able to answer easily with certainty, to people in the past.

Maybe, the only reason being is I still miss you immensely. I miss everything shared, every moment spent. Why is it so effortless to think of you yet so energy-consuming to stop recalling and appreciate the present?

Throughout my past 25 years, why there was no one that ever taught me how to go through phases like this? I can study for my exams and I can prepare for my presentations, but what can I do to get over memories and feelings that should have faded rather long ago?

I know it is never going to be the same anymore. Yet, there is nothing I can do to make it right.

Happy 25th birthday.......

2010-07-26T15:15:00.001-07:00

When I was 23rd - I was newly graduated and eager to start a new chapter of life - the working phase. Everything seems exciting and I was intrigued. I have 3 birthday dinners that year with all my truly loved ones.

When I was 24th, I have worked for almost a year by then. Things were looking somewhat depressing with new stresses that I had to cope with - struggling to strike a balance between study and work. A year I changed to be a bit quieter and less cheerful. Had a quiet and simple birthday. Though, it might be the most memorable one.

This year I am turning 25, I comply to my resolution - I want to be as cheerful again. Things might not be perfect but I have learned to accept and appreciate. A year when I learn that there is no point to get yourself more sorrow while pursuing the so-called perfect happiness. A year when I learn that something trivial can be appealing.

Eg: Fruit picking in a farm with friends, as my birthday celebration.

Karaoke dinner with interesting friends.

A year that my fanzzZ has a new co-idol :)

Happy birthday to myself.

Passed :)

2010-07-15T15:28:00.000-07:00

Happy.

2010-07-12T04:50:00.000-07:00

I know I haven't been blogging/blabbing/chirping much on my blog or the on-site chat box. Apologies in advance due to my very busy schedule...ok - it was me being somewhat lazy over the past few weeks. The piling-up work and studies (which I haven't done much still) is making me exhausted to deal with other stuff.

And of course, I haven't forgotten my promise of blogging about my (phuacking) scary abseiling to repay my fanzzZ for being so generous and have indeed digged deep to contribute! Hence I think it deserves a proper entry with complete set of picture illustrations - ie I will do it next time.

In short, this post will just be a picture entry to briefly update my fanz of my recent life.

No, Lihua - don't get excited too quickly. I DID NOT gobble down the Haagen Daaz. I was just holding it for this picture and then I returned it to the owner intact. This was me having dinner with my Fabregas, who's on the TV. World cup evening - an evening that I pretended I know football. Ended up was that I slept for most of the game until my Fabregas showed his (phuacking) hot face. (Note the 'my' treatment for Fabregas....*shy*....how come so hot one?!)

Random picture I thought of showing my fanzzZ - my one-week fruit consumption.

A friend used to stop me from taking so much fruit at one point and I was banned from bringing too much fruit to the office to munch. Haha, those were the days.

Quote someone - the 'cow cat'....... When a cat raped a milk cow - thus the product here.

Bedtime photo - I take a photo of myself before bedtime every night so that I can admire it the next morning..........NO - joking. This was a random photo I took a day before bedtime, out of my urge and I swear I don't usually do it.

The conversation once went-

Me: Eh....you know when Jennifer was little, she liked to role play as Mermaid with her friend in the swimming pool??? Hahahaha....

Wilson: Oh, really? What about you? You role play as puffer fish?

Me: Fuck.......you old man with residing hairline and soon to be bald.

Time flies - 2 weeks more and it has been a year :)

It was simple but it was also memorable.

原来你一直都还在...一份迟来的坦白..或许那是一时的冲动，或许那根本不是真实的...但谢谢你 :)

2010-06-28T04:42:00.000-07:00

Just stumbled across this somewhere - it is from the movie Synecdoche, New York.

Everyone's disappointing, the more you get to know them.

I couldn't agree more on this. Of course, exceptionals do happen but how often would they be? To date, less than five.

I think that explains why I tend to be a loner most of the times. Some people think that I have weird personalities by liking to live/walk/shop etc by myself. I don't like to be dependent on someone as much as I don't like others to be too dependent on me.

When I befriend someone new, I tend to do it to a moderate level of closeness because I whole-heartedly believe that 'everyone's disappointing, the more you get to know them'.

I trusted and cared about some people and I got burnt - so I thought to myself, that's it. Never again :)

The only way of avoiding to be disappointed - don't have your hope high in the first place. The only way of avoiding to get betrayed - don't trust. It works.

-----
A random small thing happened today: A friend has asked me out for dinner and I have declined because I have been running like a mad chicken these few weeks and I am tremendously tired now (and that also explains why 1 entry in 3 weeks as complained by a loyal fanzzZ, identity's classified). I just feel like having some quality resting time by myself and probably do some proper studies. Then I was thinking to call off the dinner without giving much explanation but this friend then offered to come to Redhill so that I don't need to travel far to London.

Just suddenly realised that I have always been the one travelling to London when there is any dinner appointment. (OK - I have to admit that there might not be a lot of things around RAT, Redhill the Awesome Town). It suddenly strikes to me that it is blissful to have a friend who's this thoughtful before I start rambling about my exhausted-ness.

So there I start thinking - It's not too bad to have someone (much) more older to look after you. Haha. (esp since the Old Man is gone now. Damn!!!!)

However, again as I said - Everyone's disappointing, the more you get to know them. You always tend to do your best to start with.

PS - I will blog about my (phuacking) scary abseiling next.

THE Old Man [Edit-with hot pictures of me and the Oldman added]

2010-06-22T04:26:00.000-07:00

This entry is dedicated to the Old Man who has been there all these whiles, all the times.

I hereby sincerely thank you for being

a dependable friend who keeps my secrets well (only if they are real secrets lar coz this ugly old man will still be big-mouthing about my other minor gossips after I told him not to sometimes)
an elderly who directs me to the right track when things start to go wrong
a weighing scale who tells me it's time to watch out for my weight after I have gained 20g after exams
a shoulder to lean on when I want to nap in the car during road trips
an underground lover who is willing to just sit there and listen to my crying (not even talking) for hours while at the same time complaining that I switch on the heater too much and the room is stuffy..then the next day, he bought roast pork for me! :D
an old man who is old-fashioned enough to insist on waiting for everyone to come back from work only we should start the dinner feasts
a 30 years old kid that claims that he is not good in English/Cantonese and demands me to speak whenever we have to deal with an English or Chinese (F...he deals with nothing basically)
someone who has been there for me through all the break-ups, getting into a relationship, and then break-ups again...then starts to listen to all my bullshits like 'I swear I will never want a relationship again!' *hou shy*
someone who will tell me off when I haven't been reasonable
someone who will help me to search for the cheapest flight ticket when I need to make an emergency trip back home - then start nagging how I have to remember to bring my passport, laptop adaptor because I am taking A380 which I can charge my laptop (wtf..)
someone who knows when to shut up when I am grumpy and impatience
someone who knows when to let me rest my short legs when I am tired, by judging from my walking pattern and noise, according to the Old Man
someone who calls/skypes me daily to check if I am home and still fine/big/fat, even when I am in Malaysia (as a matter of fact, he is lonesome and needs my voice to entertain him)
most importantly, someone whom I know if I am screwed, I can just stand there and cry for his help....

the list goes on with our fond memories which I shall keep it to myself. As the Old Man always said - keep it short and sweet (KISS).

Lastly, may I end this entry with the favourite classic quote between us:"How am I going to survive through my days without your presence..如果沒有你,日子怎么過?"

Goodbye and take care of yourself. I hope to see you holding a piglet next time, in the Merlion land. All the best, Dr. Choo!

2010-06-17T05:01:00.000-07:00

MAY I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION PLEASEEEE.....

I've decided to go on a suicide mission. Well, not exactly, but close enough. I'm going to be abseiling down all the way from the top of Spinnaker Tower (A side piece of info - I'm deathly afraid of heights although my centre of gravity might appear to be relatively low).

Even though it may not seem like the best idea, but I'm willing to take on this mammoth challenge for a good cause. Please sponsor me to scare the wits out of myself. I promise to pass on all your hard-earned money to the Stroke Association, where the money will be put to great use.

This event will take place on 27 June 2010. Would appreciate if you could donate a pence or two or spread the word quick, as the dreaded day is arriving soon.
Sorry for the rush, and a great big thank you in advance to all my dearest sponsors.

http://www.justgiving.com/manyin-lai

(Just a photo for imagination/reference - I couldn’t find any appropriate picture that fits the theme to illustrate this post…)

2010-06-07T14:41:00.000-07:00

It's not that time doesn't heal - it's just that I am not allowing it to.

Saw a familiar bag, a familiar coat, walking on the same path - then I realised that I don't want the memories to disappear. The feeling is not as strong anymore but still stronger than anything else. I still miss everything - only difference now is the feeling is calm and peaceful.

I choose to remember and recall because I know if I don't, no one else does. I am afraid of the idea that these memories are being forgotten over time.

你轻描的关心,随意的等待,不经意的 '我挂念你' 已足以把一切都捣乱......

可惜不是你,陪我到最后...感谢那是你,牵过我的手.

When I know I have run out of ways to get over, I shall just let it be.

Lazy post

2010-05-09T16:39:00.000-07:00

My daisy!!! Nice eh! I put in my soul and heart to take care of them!
My very considerate manager got me a foot rest because I have short legs apparently :S

(I was touched yet I felt like swearing....Where got so short?!?!? I mean my legs...)
Nothing to do in Ikea while friend is choosing furnitures. Obviously play with myself then, as in taking photos of myself.

First time making almond pudding. Confession - I used the instant almond pudding powder :(

I know they look ugly. Those brown bits are almond flakes.

Post-exam...your idolzzZ is going to run wild.

2010-04-30T08:25:00.000-07:00

Doraemon has died?!?!?!?!

Errrrrrr.......so,

WHO KILLED ONE? I WANT TO TAKE REVENGE FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!!

On the other hand, post-exams outings are going on so no long post for my fanzzZ but just the panda photo I promised. One per entry. Stay tuned! (the last bit here make my blog sounds damn cool).

Forgive me Father, for I have sinned...

[PS: Gospel reader - please stay tuned too as there will be hot news coming up after some investigation by newsfeeders.]

2010-04-23T05:15:00.000-07:00

I am literally at my ALMOST maximum stress level now that I don't know what to do but type something here. I don't think I can finish my syllabus before the exam and yet I don't feel like giving up some of them. Consequently, I am eating a lot. (Ok - whatever linkage there might be between those 2 things....).

Odd day. I saw berries. And it suddenly reminded me of you. I realised that some memories are fading without my knowledge and willingness. But it is somehow soothing when they kick in.

PS - I have got a set of REALLY cute panda photos that I want to share but I shall leave it till next post. Preview:

Look at the ears (damn, I wish I could have those ears - I mean by owning a Panda, not that I want to grow them on myself), look at the eyes, look at the expression!!!! Hahahahahhaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is my very current prevailing favourite wallpapers...it's everywhere on my gadgets!

A side note is, I forwarded those pictures out and (not so) surprisingly, guess what is the common reply I get from people?
............................
........................
...................
Answer: "Awww....so cute, they all look like you."

(Fuck these people. I think they are too shy to worship my cuteness directly so they've now found the excuse to compliment me without appearing to be obsessive. I don't look like Panda.)

2010-04-20T09:18:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is my first actuarial paper. I have decided that this paper is not revisable and thus it doesn't mean I am stupid if I fail it. Take my word now and don't call me stupid after 2 months please.

I am in fact going a little bit stressed and thus insane now. Anyhow, just feel like vomitting a few words here. A few old pictures I found on my folder in the company computer (yes, I am using my company computer to blog because my Mac Book Pro is not so pro and in coma condition now)

Not sure why I have my CROPPED graduation photo here *scared* I think I cropped Mr. Limpeh out.

Only if I could have this as my pet. Cool sh1t this cat. I find his/her face particularly appealing.

When I told my lecturer Dr. Kennedy that I want to buy a cat and there he sent me this picture and said - get this. What a messed up lecturer he is!

2010-04-19T04:55:00.000-07:00

I have been leaving my blog aside for a while due to the day and night marathon studies before I commit suicide in the exam hall.

So here is a quick blog to show that I am still kicking and please don't abandone me, my fanzzZ.

I have been literally hibernating in the office from day to night because I am so behind schedule. And I am not even joking or exaggerating this time! Thus the marathon it is. I was so in love with the office and my study materials that I haven't been following the news and knew nothing about the volcanic ashhhhhhh........ :S

However now I am good and updated :)

It's good to work in a small town because you get other people to study together with you as well.

Eg:

At first she disallowed me from disturbing her because she claimed that she was so going to concentrate and be productive. I got really bored at one point so I came up with a brilliant idea that makes sure she will play with me. So there I went to her cubicle:" Eh, want to order pizza for dinner?". The next thing I know she was using the computer at my desk to choose all the chicken wings, wedges, pizzas, drinks and garlic bread. Let alone the fact that she has the problem in measurement. A 3 people simple dinner then turned out to be a 10 people feast (I mean the amount of food). Good thing is.....we finished it. God, shall I end my friendship with her just for the sake of my pweetiness? Amen.

2010-04-14T01:11:00.000-07:00

突然间明白了....可是你从来都没对我说过.......?

2010-04-13T19:27:00.000-07:00

Unexpected people can be enlightening :)

沟通沟通，不沟怎么通？

On another note, I am missing someone I talk to 7 hours everyday. How has this happened?!

Exam kills.

2010-04-11T17:51:00.000-07:00

I am happy now.

Despite exams are just round the corner, I am actually emotionally relaxed and feeling good....

"Eh....Do you like flowers?"

"Yes, only if they are folded by money. Best to be Great Britain Pounds."

"Hahahaha..... What are you going to do with it?"

"Unfold it?"

Haha. Second time I am having this conversation and I still think it's good to live in honesty.

Only if all of these could be double cheese burgers! I remembered someone once asked me for what I want for birthday, I said:"I want a room that is overfilled by double cheese burgers and when I open the door, the burgers will be falling out.". I was a miserable kid.
In the middle of my revision - obviously I would do anything but study.

Meet my friend "Pebble".

OMFG!!!

2010-04-09T05:16:00.001-07:00

Look at this:

I WANT THIS BADLY!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!
But I need to 'jailbreak' my i-phone if I want to download customized theme like this. After the jailbreaking, it means I can use my iphone with other network, and download junky stuff like this! :D :D

However, APPLE WILL NOT CARE FOR ME ANYMORE ie my iphone will not be under the 1-year warranty anymore if anything bad happens to it!

So, to be or not to be? Shall I or shall I not? Tell me. Dora-e-mon-oo....

PS - Someone said I look like Doraemon today. Best thing is he is not the first one to have said that. WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING? I am way more sexier and hotter than the blue round futuristic fat cat ok!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the middle of my very dull and tasteless revision, I text someone.

Me: Eh, you know ST5 exam is moved to the week before?

..................(5 minutes of no response)............

Me: Ok. I am too bored of studying and thus I was joking. Life is currently very miserable with pastpapers!

Friend: MCB (I am sure you can figure out what this is!). Scare the f*ck out of me! Some more I really went to the website search...Try doing something else like losing 2kgs?

Haha. I literally burst into laughter reading that. Something that made me smile when exams put me to hell. Blissful. ^^

Picture post

2010-04-06T03:57:00.000-07:00

If anyone is curious (especially Aunty Carol Foong and my competitor Lihua), this is what I have been talking about - my boiled vege dinner!
Ingredients: Brocolli, Onion, Tomatoes, Water, Miso paste. Tofu or salmon is optional.

What a website....... But I do...I mean I do love it :S

Got beaten up.....

Er.....I am not sure if I am doing the right maths??

I don't want to comment more about this price board shown on Sainsbury until someone assure me that there is something wrong going on......

Sick Note

2010-04-02T16:21:00.000-07:00

Runny nose, sorethroat, fever, cough - the usual package. :(

2010-03-31T11:33:00.000-07:00

只有你曾陪我在最初的地方

只有你才能瞭解我要的夢從來不大

我們沒有在一起至少還像情侶一樣
我痛的瘋的傷的在你面前哭得最慘

你說你現在很好而且喜歡回憶很長
我們沒有在一起至少還像家人一樣
總是遠遠關心遠遠分享

总算明白也接受了...你是没法被取代...

An evening that ...

I miss holding on the phone for hours without having much to say

I miss arguing over some nonsense

I miss watching the rubbish TV programmes

I miss chatting online to ridiculous hours

I miss being piggybacked

I miss ordering delivery and not eating my portion

I miss going to gym

I miss messing with the fruits in Sainsbury

I miss studying in the library face to face

I miss being disturbed when I am concentrating

I miss getting bullied and still smiling

I miss holding together

I miss sleeping on the shoulder

I miss cooking together

I miss cleaning the toilet together

I miss going to the Dungeon randomly

I miss celebrating my birthday

I miss you

Remarkable and irreplaceable :)

I am so proud, because of you :)

2010-03-26T05:40:00.000-07:00

Today I would like to share a polite quote with my fanzzZ. This is inspired by my best friend Kaylan (not a modified version of Christian name Caitlin but originated from a kind of vegetable Kailan).

Story back then is she was bragging about herself for losing weight due to all the strict diets and treatments offered. So I asked her about the reason that she stopped the treatments when I went back to Malaysia.

There she went like:"I am so proud of myself when I see you - so no need to go anymore."*wtf this stupid ex-boyish fat organic pig*

So then we found that when you want to tell someone that you are better, you can phrase it this way:

I am so proud, because of you :)

[Please don't ignore the smiley face there as it's the key thing to put/do to de-bitch yourself.]

Class dismiss.

-----------------

I have come to realise that if you are unable to wipe off something once was so memorable - keep it and treasure it at one little corner in your heart. Paths divert, happy memories remain. And then, life goes on with you creating the new sweet ones.

Random photos I took while I was doing my groceries shopping one day :)

Not everything needs a reason.

2010-03-22T14:58:00.000-07:00

So here I am in a hotel because the developer has officially taken over and conquered my place. (I almost typed it as palace)

Hotel is good but there is this very frequent vibration and immense noise around

.........................

...................

......

caused by the trains of course because it's located next to the train station. What were you thinking?

Why do I need such a big toilet??? Why don't they allocate some of the space for the actual room of practical use? Or toilet can be used very practically?
The bed, together with my 2 sausages.
Just in case you start missing me for not seeing my (pweety) face for a few days. So here I am, right after shower *shy* and ready to bury my soul, my heart, my everything into the actuarial study material. F!

On the bright side, being next to the train station means I can wake up 10 minutes later than usual and roll down to the station just 5 minutes before the train's departure.

They serve complimentary biscuits here. How??? What an evil behaviour of the hotel!

What do you call this now? I guess....Happy? :)

When exams are almost here...

2010-03-20T20:39:00.000-07:00

Clearly when the exams are just round the corner, I tend to do some thing odd - browsing the internet for funny photos. And then I shortlist these few which I think worth sharing.

Hybrid of Hitler + Pikachu

Commercial of the Lancome eye cream which helps you to cure your dark circle - but I like the panda of the 'before' version :S

Lastly, I would like to give 10000 bravo's to the parents of this:

You know how innovative you have to be to come up with this??

2010-03-20T05:19:00.000-07:00

[Edit........refer the last photo :D]

Not as strong but good enough.

The ticket below is a little bit hilarious. Please forgive me if you found it lame.com.

So why is March not written as MAR but MCH??????

MCH....to me......very suggestive. What do you think?

I am a lady (classhy one). Thanks.

PS - I feel like eating instant noodle, like a lot. It's just the matter of...to be or not to be...haha. Damn, I start speaking in tongue now.

[edit...]

So I did eat at the end....to solve my craving and urge. Other than that, I had kitkat. Er...stressed! (My usual excuse. Ha!!) I am sure Lihua is secretly feeling evilly happy now.

Yum................

2010-03-18T17:38:00.000-07:00

1) Say hello to my new friend. I met her (gender is not identified) on my way walking back from the office and she initially seemed to be concentrating on preying something (please see photo attached for reference). Not sure what was that but I disturbed her. I got her distracted and then after that she was stroking herself around my legs. Such an easy-going cat!

2) Have to move out from my flat for five days next week.....what I really want to say is.....DAMN YOU STUPID DEVELOPER. It was because the biomass system is too sophisticated for them to cope with and so people have occasionally facing the problem of having no hot water, when the temperature outside is -8C! So they claimed that they have been working hard on it and now it's the final stage - connect everyone's onto this new boiler system. Hence, we are asked to stay in a hotel for the coming five days with breakfast and allowance provided. On a bright side, I got GBP25 per day as 'pocket money' and that's it :S

Stupiddd!!!!! Look what a mess they have got the building into, let alone they have destroyed my best friend at home - my ceiling!!!! They needed to open it to do some work and it's left uncovered now.

3) Say hello to another new friend - the Bettle. Don't get too excited, I didn't get myself the car Bettle but this:

4) Went to gym and saw something REALLLLLLLY funny. I literally burst into laughter on the spot and embarrassed myself :S

I saw my indian colleague swinging his upper body and dancing on the gliding machine at the same time he was gliding. Surely he was listening to some 'rock' Bollywood song such as Jaiho?!! The funniness is indescribable. I tried to secretly peep at him but I am fairly sure I was noticed :S

I miss the one who will appreciate this joke :(

5) Lihua, see below and please be grateful that I did not upload this on fay-book. Thank you.

Secret...

2010-03-17T05:37:00.000-07:00

Secret project is underway!

No, I am not going to tell because I foresee some strong furious objections especially from one particular person! Hee. The project is anticipated to fall in June 10.

I sound absolutely like a b*tch by trying to reveal the existence of a secret and then reluctant to go into it. Haha. Sorry. I am just too excited.

Talking about sounding like a bitch..recently there is one old man with little hair and no career who is suffering from midlife crisis loves to do that to me!!!!! Getting more and more often, the typical conversation goes like:

OM:"Eh, you know what, I asked xxx about xxx.....(sounding excited)"
Me:"So what did he/she say???(getting excited about it)"
OM:"Er....just like that lor...(sudden turn-off with no reason)...actually nothing much.(this is literally what he said ie without giving ANY information at all)."

Or

OM:"Eh, you know what.......there is something really funny that I have to tell!!"
Me:"What????"
OM:"Actually........I am not allowed to tell."
Me:"Wtf..."
OM:"But it IS really funny...like really...hahahahahahahh hahahahahaha"

How would you feel if you were to be put in my shoes??????

This is not happening for just once or twice, but almost every other day!!!! This IS FUCKING ANNOYING OK. And I am not even joking! Especially when I am a very concerning person (note the difference of this from being nosy)!! His midlife crisis is not only killing him - I am suffering from it as well.

I hope his wife does something similar to him next time..............on the bed. Thanks.

PS - OM doesn't stand for Old Man but O...man! Heeeeeeeee....

2010-03-15T06:17:00.000-07:00

(1)

Halfway studying yesterday, I saw something I marked down last time on my notes:

Err....I guess I am just born to be vulgar. It was something I wrote down out of the natural instinct and when I was not paying enough attention............... I hope this is not true.

(2)

If you remember that I have bought a pot of flower which is known as the "Flower" a few days ago. Now it's time to show that it has grown and developed!! The little one which was struggling to grasp some sunshine and fresh air can finally be seen!

I am having a lot of fun watering it with English Traditional Tea! We are best friends now so Flower will drink whatever beverages I am sipping away :D

(3)

Spot the difference between Yanlin and the character on the plate.........

NO, that's NOT Yanlin on the plate. Don't get yourself too confused.

(4) How are you? :)

Anyways, went to view quite a number of cars today (in the cold) and am very exhausted now - mentally and physically because need to check/consider/think properly about my purchase. Oh, and not to say being a navigator when Tom Tom is forgotten - I am completely idiot when it comes to directions (maybe not only that). Therefore, we got lost with the directions for a few (not too many) times.

Sometimes, I think I am being treated overly nice when I clearly don't deserve it.....and vice versa.

Anyways, good night world.

PS - Did I say I am going for Honda Jazz now? Jazz (giant) baby I am! *shy*

Classic!

2010-03-13T18:56:00.000-08:00

Had a considerably long phone conversation with my mum (who is high-profile-ly known as Carol Foong among my friends).

There she splashed out some most classic quotes that I have ever heard in my life, to date.

"So when are you getting married? I want to wear nice and expensive dresses!"

(Is that even a reason to marry your daughter?!)

and the best is.........

"Don't need to study so much one...get so many certificates for what? The most important certificate and the ultimate one is the CERTIFICATE OF MARRIAGE..."

Wtf.com!

The messed-up aunty who has disproportionately big head.

Very random indeed...

2010-03-11T09:54:00.000-08:00

Some people are not the brightest one but they just stay in your heart for long. Every single thing. Why?

On the other note, I have discovered that there are something out there I am missing!!!
Can someone (ie fanzzZ..yes, one of you guys!!) please buy me that to make me happy??? My birthday is coming soon. Very soon!

Met up with my long lost college-mum in London. Someone who used to cook for us so much.
And she is a soon-to-be Lorcktor. (Read: Doctor. She is doing phD now in the University of Manchester.)

My favourite conversation of the week:

Me: Why do you always sound so stressed?

Friend: It's true! I don't have hair, I don't have a job, I don't have a career, I don't have money. (Out of everything, hair actually tops the list. We know where his concern his.)

Me: Oh, but you have a phD!

Friend: Not yet and it's so uncertain.

Me: No, I mean the one you have it all the time.

Friend: Oh that's true. I am going to say this to the job interviewer tomorrow.

[PS - phD here doesn't refer to the usual Doctor of Philosophy. Instead, it stands for the Pretty Huge D**k. Don't tell people I said that. Thanks. And please don't try to guess who I was talking to. I promise you he is not Sir Wilson Choo.]

"Flower"

2010-03-07T04:32:00.000-08:00

I bought a pot of pretty pink daisy on Friday out of my sudden urge (maybe to match my manager's disturbing pink polo shirt....see photo attached below for reference..urgh!).

At the moment there are 2 grown-up flowers and 2 hidden small ones struggling to stretch at the bottom.

So here my manager was introducing the flower to another colleague:"ManYin and me are nurturing this little plant here..This is our child."

-___- What a disturbing introduction. Haha! We will see how long our Daisy is going to survive. I shall name it...what about it being "Flower"......Damn lame nowadays.

-------------------------------

I am feeling weird again despite everything.

Is it not going to go away? :(

2010-03-04T16:25:00.000-08:00

I finished work at about 10pm today and thus I'm dead tired now. To chill out, I surfed fay-book and found this happy memories.

:)

I miss you two.

2010-03-04T04:40:00.000-08:00

[Edit: New song has been uploaded. A very junky-ish song....is there such word?]

Friend: So what have been up to last night?
Me: Talked to my good friend at home.
Friend: Your friend came round?
Me: No, my ceiling has always been there.

As my loyal fanzzZ (by addressing close friends as fanzzZ sounds a bit crazy actually), you should know that I am a very homey person *shy*. The case is this homey personality has extended to the other parts of my life - ie being anti-social. I talk less than 10 sentences to my colleagues unless it's work related. And I stay in during lunch to play with my computer while eating. So I have been left out from all the (juicy) gossips spreading around the office.

So yesterday I was catching up with one of my colleagues and then she told me that two of these guys from my year of new-grad-batch have got together....as in they are in a relationship.

I don't discriminate homosexual people. Instead I found it amazing.
One of the guys was in a relationship with a girl when he just joined the company. So I am amazed by the fact that the other guy has successfully converted him. Also, how have all these happened????? How would you express your love to someone who was deemed to be non-homosexual then? And bear in mind that this person is your colleague!

Oh by the way, have I blogged about this before? I was clearing my personal photo folders on the office computer and found this-

When I was a monkey before evolution:
And then after some incomplete evolution:
To be continued......
.....................
...............
........

Joking. Evolution has already been accomplished in the photo above although it might not be obvious.

Lame.com *yawn*

The Great Depression 2010

2010-03-02T04:38:00.000-08:00

4 simple steps to torture yourself:

1) Sitting at your desk during lunch time eating this:

Don't ask me what is the orangey starchy liquid inside the cup....because I don't know and not necessary to know but it fills me up.

2) While visiting blogs like this:

3) And then take photo to show your fanzzZ how depressed you are.

(Random side note: Lihua said my eyebrows are growing wilder and wilder. Others said my moustachy is growing more and more visible. I guess I am just getting hairier and sexier.)

4) Lastly, get back to having fun with Excel Spreadsheet and the calculator.

(Damn! I miss Dim Sum. I miss Laksa. I miss Char Siew. I miss Roast Pork. They all deserve upper case treatment because they are so special and loved. Oh, by the way, I miss LiHua too - I swear there is no linkage between LiHua and the food and I just happened to think of LiHua half way typing this.)

:)

2010-03-01T13:05:00.000-08:00

When I was in Malaysia trying out some garments in the fitting room and shouting to my cousin (who was next door trying as well) that I am fat...she then told me something thought-provoking in return:"Don't always complain that you are fat. If you keep on finding some thinner people to compare, you will never think that yourself is good enough." I guess this applies in many aspects in life and I think this is a very important perspective to lead a happier life. Having said that - PLEASE DON'T ABUSE THIS THEORY and then gain weight like nobody's business!

Anyway, I am happy today because:

Spring is approaching and the sky is still bright at 5-ish in the evening!
I managed to finish my work on time and escaped slightly after 5pm. Ok, fine...I did not do much because not many people realise that I am back thus no delegation of work yet. I will try to keep myself as unnoticeable as possible for the next few days.
I had a very good excuse to skip gym without incurring any guilt feeling within myself - arrival of menstrual cycle....is it too revealing to say this on blog? :S
I found something disturbing in Sainsbury today:

For some reason the idea of buying sanitary pad and get free lip gloss.....disturbed me. One you apply on lips and one you apply on.........ah well.

I have been able to celebrate my best friend's birthday for the 8th consecutive years now - from 18th to 25th - remarkable!

Ignore my (or our) very unappealing miserable look(s) as we were about to sleep! My face was (is) very swollen.

Had a very simple ChapGohMei (last day of Chinese New Year cum Chinese Valentines' Day) in Southampton with my favourite people.

Someone has made me smile :)

2010-02-25T10:33:00.001-08:00

I hope things will be different from this point onwards. I shall believe so at the same time I hope for it.

*******

As my fanzzZ, you enjoy the privilege of having the opportunity to discover all the behind-the-scene photos. Heee....

I think he enjoyed it in fact.
Was driving and captured by someone very annoying, and it's NOT Lihua.
Emo.

Paws I found on CT's car.

Quote Lihua:" The big bully face..."
Tired of the aunty next to me for taking 989 photos sitting at the same position
I like my double chins here :D
As usual, checking out photo and planning to retake if it is not nice.

The butcher who was responsible to cut the roast pork at my house.

2010-02-23T09:00:00.000-08:00

Recently I have been told that I haven't put in much thoughts in my blog entries and new posts are just for the sake of updating my blog.

That is actually right to a certain extent. I have been refraining myself from inputting something really serious - because I am refraining myself from getting into deep contemplation and thinking more than I should.

Back in Malaysia really tidied my thoughts up and set me ready to go further again. Being in the UK for too long messed things up. It is always the case and it always does - physically (especially my weight..damn!!) and emotionally. Back with friends whom I haven't met for quite a while made me realise that everyone has grown. Everybody has developed so much from high school and our outlooks are so different now. However, don't get me wrong as this is not drifting us apart but bonding us closely again by spending some quality time to try understanding each other again.

I have realised that no matter how close two individuals are, there are some areas that you just have to watch your steps and words. I am still learning to not take things for granted. I guess so do my friends. I have also learned that some friends will never come to realise this point. Once these gated areas are intruded, it sometimes is hard to resume to the original state...at least for me. Avoiding from phrasing things too harsh-ly, that's it.

Some photos to share:

Since Becca has disowned me from being her idolzzZ and ditched me when she was in West Malaysia, I have found another fanzzZ that looks like her and had gathering.

Becca, do you like your sibling I found in One-Utama?

Bestie who has always been there. Sounds very cheesy but thanks for everything. I mean it although you are quite annoying sometimes... :D
A girl that I always refer her as the Portugese....haha. Pikyi, if you are stalking me, please ask LiHua about the story of you being a Portugese.

2010-02-19T08:18:00.000-08:00

Off to Johor and will be back on Sunday :)

In the mean time, enjoy some private photos which are not on Fay-book.

Had gathering with high school friends and it was real comfortable to see and talk to them again.

Nothing else more, we chatted about recent occupation and mostly....mostly bitched about other school mates who were not there! Haha, what a typical gathering.

The girls....

2010-02-17T12:02:00.000-08:00

Blogging at this time shows that I am having a messed up body clock now. I went to bed right after dinner and woken up by some immense gambling shouting and cheering downstairs (damn!). And here I'm fully awaken typing away at my computer....

Truly good to be home.
Not everything is in their perfect state, but to me they are more than enough to be 100%.

2010-02-08T19:28:00.001-08:00

2010-02-03T04:11:00.000-08:00

I am going back to the Mansion (upper case treatment for my house in Malaysia because it is THAT special and classy)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

To my dear secret fanzzZ who have been stalking me quietly (there might be none of you but it's damn cool shit to announce like that...), please arrange with my personal assistant if you want to meet up with me. While my PA will try her very best to accommodate your request, availability is not guaranteed. We don't do things on a first-come-first-served basis but instead it entirely depends on your importance. Oh wait, have I mentioned my PA's contact? Ah well, you know who she is if you are deemed to have the priority to meet up with me :D

In the meantime, I will dream hard.............about the PINEAPPLE TART....PINEAPPLE TARTS!!!!!!!! PINEAPPLE TARTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Talking about pineapple tarts, a tragedy happened last week. The tealady in my mum's company who specialises in baking my favourite (of all times!) pineapple tarts has decided to quit her baking career!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! People out there, please recommend me some good pineapple tarts pleaseeeeee. I am dying to eat them. And I am not even joking. :(

Till then, please miss me as much as possible and enjoy the photo below which I secretly took in the office in the middle of my studies. I have two tutorials coming up on Monday and Tues. And yes, that means I'd need to carry two big suitcases and drag across the busiest tube stations like Victoria/KingsCross St Pancras Int/Paddington like a mad (but pretty) pig to attend my tutorial on Tues. Then off I fly back to the Merryland in the evening.

2010-02-01T12:54:00.000-08:00

如果让我重新再选，我一定不会让它曾经开始过。
有了一些零零碎碎的美好回忆。但在痛苦与眼泪背后稳稳支撑着的，也就是这些不完整的片断。

日子久了，好累好累。
好想转换一下环境。

也有可能，真的是时候回一回家了。

忽然间觉得,其实和你的点滴,已经很远了。

2010-01-29T16:54:00.000-08:00

My manager (to refresh my fanzzZ's memory, he was the one who dressed up to be a transvestite) was having fun time with my I-phone.

A random conversation between my mum and I:

Mum: Whaat? You don't put make up to the office?

Me: No, no one wants to look at me.

Mum: Not even lipstick?

Me: No, no one is going to look at me.

Mum: Don't even draw a bit of your eyebrows?

Me: No, no one cares.

Mum: A little bit of blusher?

Me: No...I took out my shoes sometimes when I work - COZ NO ONE PAYS ATTENTION TO ME!

Foong Lai Ying, so this is how messy I look like when I work :D

On way walking home, the moon is round and bright. It's almost the mid-month again, for the lunar calendar. It's also almost the 4th :)

A random plant I bought - it just took THREE day to blossom!!!! THREE days....what an easy-going plant :S
Day 1
Day 2
Day 3

I am foreseeing it to grow to a tree on Monday! :D

2010-01-27T17:53:00.000-08:00

My favourite eel + onion egg rice.....
Sashimi
"Filming in progress" - I was hoping to get filmed by pretending to take ages to take a photo...*shy*
Avatar sunglasses. Cool sh1t.

At the moment I just feel like going home, as in home home. I just want to bury myself under the duvet and only crawl out for dinners. I feel like ranting and sighing in front of my mum, my brother and Lihua. They are the people I miss the most. I hope I would never need to come back here again.

The GREAT GREEK meal

2010-01-25T18:29:00.000-08:00

Greek dinner at Covent Garden. Humus and pita bread indeed make a great course to indulge your night with.

Great greek dessert.

I just want a position that I can be myself.

You know it's time for me to start serious studying again when.....

2010-01-20T04:13:00.000-08:00

I play....

this!

It got ALL my answerS perfect!! I am indeed amazed!!

2010-01-18T15:09:00.000-08:00

My thoughts are going spiteful lately. All the kind feelings have turned to be sour.

I start to value things negatively. I avoid seeing the good things within people like how I used to. I cover myself with a greater shield. I realised that the best thing to keep in this world...is distance - from everyone and everything. Keeping a moderate distance makes me feel secured and comfortable.
On a bright side, I am protecting myself more.
I have learned to give myself the priority under any circumstances.

Nothing new to update actually except that I am quite busy at the moment with everything.

A wild thought - I feel like switching my base...some place with great prospect for career and good living standard but not the UK nor Malaysia (yet). Though, that requires greater courage than I am having at the moment.

I want to update!!!!!!

2010-01-14T15:03:00.000-08:00

(Photo contributed by ChoozzZy)
(Photo contributed by your idolzzZ)

I want to update!!!!!! But I am too busy to do anything more than this entry.
Haha.

Becca, this entry is specially dedicated for you - do you miss us more now?

The old man is being lonely now while Fatboy is away and becoming one emo king in Singapore (please refer to Fatboy's recent facebook status).

When I said it's the last time, it hasn't been - but it will be one day.

2010

2010-01-01T10:18:00.000-08:00

Officially we have stepped into another decade since the millennium and today is the first day of year 2010. There is no new year resolution for me this year (as usual) because they suck. I know I will never be able to achieve my goals if they are explicitly stated and I am obliged to implement with expectations.Once I was told the equation of

Satisfaction = Achievement - Expectation

I am greedy. I am setting my expectation as zero to get all the achievements as my satisfactions. New year resolution this is, if it counts?

Reviewing 2009, as much as I wanted to say it has not been a good year for me, I have to admit that there have been some good stuff. As difficult as 2009 had been to me, there had been a steep learning curve - study wise, work wise as well as life wise.

Sometimes it might be hurting to see how the contacts have gradually got less and how the friendship gap has got wider over time, it might be upsetting to see how yourself are getting some sympathetic care while struggling to forget - but at the end of the day, I hope I have learned. 2009 might not be the best year for me, but I will definitely appreciate the ups and happiness within it.

In 2008, someone said to me:"How come you have always appeared to be so happy? Don't you have some stress sometimes?"
In 2009, someone told me:"You seemed to be a bit stressed these whiles, is everything ok?"
In Twenty-ten, there is no new year resolution but I hope to be as cheerful again :)

2009-12-22T16:16:00.000-08:00

I passed an actuarial exam which I am least expecting it. I was genuinely being ready to fail, so ready that I forgot my result day. However, I passed it - not trying to show off or whatsoever but it is just that I don't think I deserve it. I haven't been studying enough. I was being truly miserable during the exam - so miserable that I sat there for minutes doing nothing and thinking to leave the exam hall immediately but I was disallowed to do that for the first half hour.

I guess I shall be happy. I really should be. There is no reason for me to be not.

Today marks the end of the Ox year. I read about something on the train today, an old cliche but something we tend to forget so easily in our daily life - let it go and live the present. Again, there is no reason for me to not manage it.

But why are things occuring without reason lately?

Happy birthday...

2009-12-20T18:02:00.000-08:00

To

someone who is not the easiest person in this world,
someone who has taught me so much, especially in my first year of being a fresh new graduate in work,
someone who had brightened up my days in this boring little town,
someone who was able to insult me out of everything,
someone who was a big bully to me yet still got me smiling after all the mental abuse :S ,
someone who was not the nicest to me yet I still used to care so much,
someone who was capable to make a mess in my flat yet did not get me mad,
someone whom I used to be so comfortable to talk everything to,
someone whom I can hardly get annoyed with no matter whatever has been done - be it something tiny or something hurtful,
someone whose companionship I enjoyed so much,
someone whom I don't share a lot of memories but those little memories stay,
...............................
...............................
someone who is not going to read this post,
someone whom I will not see again in the rest of my life,
someone whom I still miss the most in this entire universe...knowing that I have probably been forgotten ages ago :S,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, I hope you will have the nicest things in this world and be happy for every single day. :)

2009-12-16T16:49:00.000-08:00

Christmas is just round the corner and it is getting festive here...and I bought cakes for the office! Just an excuse for me to treat myself a couple (maybe more than that)...

It was snowing heavily today.

I was F.U.C.K.I.N.G. stressed today. I mean F.U.C.K.I.N.G. stressed.

So stressed that I ate a few mince pies and sponge rolls.

So stressed that I was getting annoyed at everything, including a very tiny noise made by people sitting around me.

So stressed that I was getting grumpy with the slippery road which is covered by a layer of ice and almost tripped me.

So stressed that I stood at a point and cried for good 15 minutes for no reason on my way walking back.

I honestly don't know what has happened.

Yet, I have to cancel my study day tomorrow due to work.

=======================

Something that has been long awaited....

Dear fanzzZ, enjoy!

(I wanted to make my blog more civilised but apparently my fanzzZ have been logging in a few times in a day because of this promised photo :S)

2009 Christmas Dinner

2009-12-14T19:20:00.000-08:00

Very tired after the dinner. Just to sustain your appetite a little bit, here are some photos taken. Just a small portion of it out of the zillion photos stored in my camera now.

Will blog more about it or upload all of them onto Facebook when I am less tired.

The dinner was eventful.

By the way, the theme was 'Time Traveller'...

As usual, I am having photo with some random stuff.

If I tell you this is my manager and he sits next to me in the office - would it be better if I quit the job, you think?

Sexay leg. (I mean Dave's one, not mine.)

With the Goddess.

Towards the end of the Dinner, everything is taken off...I mean the my hairband with bow and high heels.

(Damn, I am really traumatised by my manager the transvestite.)

Good night world.

2009-12-13T16:50:00.000-08:00

This weekend, I am back with all my favourite people...again, three weeks after our grand gathering in Redhill.

This is a place where everyone cares about everyone genuinely, where people take care of each other, where our friendships blossomed (especially my idol-fanzzZship with Yuchen and Becca), where I have successfully accomplished one chapter of my life by obtaining a Degree before commencement of the working chapter, a place where I love and a place where my love ones are. It is truly comfortable to be back. Familiar places and familiar faces. Ah, this is what I call bliss.

Although we did not do anything more than just having our routine Dimsum, playing Wii, lying in, morning Sunday roast, strolling in the City aimlessly, taking photos of the roast pig in the German Christmas Market, laughing about my fat and how I have gained weight - all is nothing more than simple joy. Oh, they also have now come up with something new about me - my mustache which has mysteriously grown to be more visible and thus the name of 'Mustachy' I am known as now.

My favourite Yorkshire Pudding!!!

Christmas market

ChoozzZ's Sunday roast - lamb.

Stitch who has 6 arms, according to the Legend.

ChoozzZy and RouzzZy.

FYI, I was trying to imitate the pig head next to me and not just sticking my tongue out for no reason.

Apparently, this reminds all my friends about me whenever they walk pass this kiosk.

Unilink, the main transport that have brought me to most of my destinations in the past 4 years.

Becca, are you missing us all now?

2009-12-11T14:34:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I hope I am more fickle-minded. Really.

2009-12-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

I saw something today, something so familiar that it reminded me of someone :)
There is definitely something missing, but all these happened comfortably.
I hope all is well...

Anyways, I actually wanted to talk so much about the blog that has been newly launched ....
I soooo wanted to put up the banner I designed to show off ...
I wanted all the people to visit that blog in order for the gospel to be heard....
but I must behave and refrain myself from doing this so boldly and publicly,
for the sake of keeping my blog clean and pure.

However, to my secret fanzzZ out there (ignore the fact that if there is any, just let me make this announcment) -
if you are dying to know what is going on and can't stop yourself from wanting to enjoy the angel voice for gospel, please do not hesitate to message me and I will consider sending you the link!

2009-12-07T13:16:00.001-08:00

There is one very scary incident that I must blog about to mark a record here!!!!! It happened when I was walking to the Town to get some fresh air and rest my tiny brain during lunch. Then a random guy came round and asked a few questions. Initially, I was happily answering his question and thinking that he was trying to be friendly. However, it became scary when the conversation proceeded:

X: So you are from Malaysia and you stay in Redhill? You work in Reigate? (I have never told him these!!!!!)
Me: Err... how do you know?
X: Oh, coz I have been seeing you around the Redhill and Reigate...You take the train to Reigate every morning? (I didn't tell this as well!!!!! And all these did not tell him that I am Malaysian!!! Ok, it might be his guess coz I might look like one, and also there isn't many transport that you can take to get to Reigate from Redhill.)
Me: Oh..I used to but now I am getting lift from my friend every morning.
X: Really? I have a car. I can give you a lift every morning!
Me: Er..haha, thanks - but I guess I am ok.
X: You look very nice....you look like a nurse... (Damn, just coz I was wearing a white skirt and this sentence sounds VERY disturbing ok!)
Me: Ha ha, thanks.
X: What time do you reach the office everyday? What time do you finish work?
Me: Oh, I reach about 7am in the morning and leave work about 9pm in the evening. (This is totally bullshit, I don't work so hard obviously - but I realised it is very dangerous for me to tell the truth.)
X: Wow, you work really hard!! Do you want to go for a coffee?
Me: (at this point, I was honestly scared of him and randomly I came up with an excuse when we walked pass the spectacles shop) Hmm...but my lunch time is ending and I actually just came out for an eyesight test...I am being late for my appointment...see you later.......bye
X: Wait, let's exchange number...
(To avoid all the hassle, I did exchange the number because I know I can ignore the calls)
Me: Ok, I really gotta go now coz I am being very late....
X: Okok, I will call you later. Remember to give me a miss call too. Must call me ok.....Give me a call if you need a lift to anywhere..I can give you a lift every morning to the office!!!
(Throughout the 20 seconds, he was holding my hand at the same time he was assuring me that he will be able to give me a lift...F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
Me: Ok, bye.

VERY SCARY. I mean I am ok if it is just normal chat up but what makes it creepy was that he appeared to know more than I expected! I was being paranoid when I was walking home after work just now and kept looking back.
Why have to make me feeling so unsecured physically while I am already exhausted from struggling to be mentally secured!!!???????! Redhill was once a very peaceful happy little town to me :(

I have ignored a few calls by now...what if he appears again in front of me tomorrow??????
Dear fanzzZ, if I happen to abandone my blog for more than 3 days, please stick up the missing note (like this--> click) for me.
Ok, jokes aside - make a police report if I happen to be missing in action. Thanks.... :S

2) Random self-updates:

Random London weekend. Christmas is just round the corner and Banana Republic (the sister brand of Gap) is serving FREE mini mince pies and hot chocolate with marshmallow!!!!

Christmas decoration around my area in the office. Very merry....not.

Haha, this is what I will do when I am losing my mind - when I have to come back at 8am in the morning on a Sunday to catch my deadline. Now I get the word structure of DEADline - you just have to die for it.

Thai dinner where I found the elephant teapot amazing.

2009-12-02T16:11:00.001-08:00

I was trying to sort out all my new/old photos, organize and label them nicely into my very sexy silver iMac and realised that there are a lot of photos that I have never posted on the WorldWideWeb. I believe as a very loyal fanzzZ, you will be dying to see all these - so here you go.

Ok, it's actually me being lazy and feel like putting some photos instead.

:O

This is good shit. Han, you promised not to visit my blog. If you see this and start getting mad, you better keep it calm and don't call to yell at me - because it will then indicate that you are breaking our promise!!

Haha...again, one more.

Last one!

Woaahhh, my idol!!! (Just William, not Harry.)

What the heck. This is something brilliant to do when someone else is cam-whoring.

Cute!

2009-12-01T18:18:00.000-08:00

Someone told me that 22 Dec is officially the end of Ox Year for the Chinese - 22 Dec is the arrival of the Chinese Winter which overrides the Chinese New Year as the beginning of year! This is indeed an exciting news. Yuchen, aren't you feeling the same? :D

Anyways, just found this photo on my album that I have been forgetting to post it here. Apparently, I am banned from showing this Oldman's pathetic few strands of hair on the Facebook. So here you go, Becca - just for you and please note the fact that Oldman actually claimed that his hair has grown more lately.

2009-11-30T15:35:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow is the Team Christmas Lunch in the office. Time does fly I guess. It seems like it was just not long ago I was a new grad and had to take up the responsibility to decorate my area in the office. And there I made this Christmas tree :D

My manager went like:"So.....you are using a tree (the gold one on top) to decorate a tree????"

Heee...what's wrong with that?!

My Christmas tree looked grand!

Just right after I heard that, it is already time for the 2009's new grad to take her turn for this job :(

How time has disappeared so quickly while I don't feel like I have done anything constructive...

Anyways, just came back from tutorial, very contented.... I mean drained.

I have something to blog about - something angry. The email trail of the Gang is still going - going hot in fact and people are getting really angry. So do I, although I am not involved. Haha.

However, now I am too contented to be angry - so will leave it till tomorrow.

For the time being, will have some photos posted instead. Enjoy :D

My favourite eel.

My favourite Tazy. (Tazy, you better are not reading my blog now, you promised not to invade my privacy!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The Fat Seal aka Tazy with his food.

Just coz I took a photo with MY eel, this ugly Tazy wanted a photo too - so typical!

54th - One big understatement

2009-11-26T04:01:00.000-08:00

I still do miss you a lot :)

2009-11-25T04:52:00.000-08:00

Something that I'd miss:

"Eh, do you think we will get prettier when we get older?? Look at those celebrities, they are much prettier now than the time when they were younger!"
"No...coz I think we are already very pretty that it almost reached the maximum level already."

"Eh, that xxx slimmed down eh!!"
"So what, she is ugly though."

(While we were on a boat...)
"Eh, I seriously feel like dying. But I don't think I can take the blame of committing suicide after I die - so can you kill me instead?"
"Actually I feel like dying too. Let's pretend to fight now and dump each other into the sea!"
"Good idea, then tomorrow they will interview xxx (another best friend in the Gang). Then xxx will regret so much that she didn't come with us."

Randomly, either one of us would go:"Eh, really, I think I am damn shit pretty."

(One day on the street when we saw a couple getting married and were taking wedding photos...)
"Oh no no no, look, the guy is good shit - why so hot one!?Oh no, look at the bride...eewww"
"Ya ya ya, why huh...why...why we do not have this kind of luck??"
"I know, because we are already very hot - if we get someone hot, people will just think it's normal. And also, according to the theory of probability, there will be a bigger chance for us to get someone uglier because we are pretty."

"You know what, actually xxx is a very lucky girl - because she is ugly, and if someone falls for her, then the love between them must be strong and true."
"Poor us.....haih. Why are we so prettiee????"

[I shall stop here before I get shunned by my fanzzZ.]

See! How would I not miss my best friend? Who else can I have disturbing conversations like this?

The 52nd...

2009-11-24T17:10:00.000-08:00

Went to watch this amazing musical "Hairspray" and had a good laugh :D
Quote of the day which I anticipate it to becoming my favourite phrase, at all times:

BOYS ARE JUST NOT THE BRIGHTEST THING...

Score! *thumbs up*

==================
There is this juicy gossip going round the Gang recently - It again enhances my believe in the Karma - what goes round, comes round. Don't do anything that will hurt others, because you will get it back one day...it might not be anytime in the near future, but one day eventually.

No matter how the victim concerned in this incident sounds pitiful, I HAVE NO SYMPATHY OR WHATSOEVER TOWARDS IT (gender's classified) - because it should have expected this when it has decided to do the similar thing a few years ago.

2009-11-23T12:08:00.000-08:00

"Look!"
"What?"
"The sky is very red..."

2009-11-19T16:25:00.000-08:00

Without realising, I am actually not remaining on the same spot.

By the way, I think talking to someone who's over protective towards you can be stressful...sometimes.

Things I do when I am bored of studying...how disturbing :S

This is obviously a lazy entry.

2009-11-18T09:14:00.000-08:00

How is it time to start studying again when I feel like I have just sit for my exam yesterday?

:(

I guess there is something that you just can't avoid in your life.

So what is the best about iMac?

2009-11-16T12:55:00.000-08:00

Whenever I tell someone I have bought iMac, the person concerned will then show me a very excited face that is full of jealousy...which I never come to understand why - because I didn't find my laptop THAT awesome afterall...to be honest :/
In fact, I don't find it any more special than Toshiba or Dell.

I have always wondered which part of the laptop I have spent my GBP1200 to and today I have finally found the answer! :D
There is this Photo Booth that makes things interesting, at least for me!
There are a lot of backgrounds that you can choose and play around with and take photos of yourself. Photos whey!

Damn, this is good!

I know it is disturbing but please bear with me for SOME (note the plural) blog entries that will be full of photos of myself taken using this Photo Booth thing. Tee hee....

1) Eiffel tower - why would I go to Paris if I could do as many photos as I like until I am full, at my flat?!

When thing, I mean myself....start to go wrong...

2) Sea side..the beach

In the future I shall get myself dressed up in some appropriate outfit to take this kind of photos, eg bikini. Ok, I am joking :/

3) The blue sky

4) Back in my flat :D

I know my fanzzZ have been missing my face *shy*

2009-11-12T17:17:00.000-08:00

Christmas lights near Oxford Circus/Regent Street are up!

Updates:

1) I have recently realised that I should spend my money wisely and do some good deeds - and hence I have chosen to sponsor a kid from the third world country! It costs me 180 pounds per year. The girl that I am sponsoring was born in 1997 (i.e. we share the same Chinese zodiac sign!!). She is a Christian and she has 3 siblings. The organisation has sent me a photo of this little girl and she looks really beautiful! Through this organisation, they will make you the only sponsor for the kid and you can then build a very close relationship with the kid and get regular updates like drawings, letters etc from him/her! It is somewhat fulfilling knowing that my money has helped to raise and educate a child who is thousand of miles away!
If you feel like doing the same thing, give this a visit --> The Actionaid

2) There is a rather big steamboat slumber party coming up in a week's time, at my flat - I am not sure if I am still young and energetic enough to cope with it. I anticipate it a daunting task to deal with so many uncles, at a time! I foresee myself to have to deal with all sorts of insult.
Whoever that insults/touches/pinches me will get to sleep at the hallway, outside of the flat!

The steamboat gang(photo taken back in 2008 for reference purpose).
Becca, I miss you.

3) I am truly glad to know that grandma's operation has gone well and she will be discharged soon :)

2009-11-09T16:36:00.000-08:00

[Please ignore this totally as I really just need to write it out somewhere]

At some point, I start to get worried - how long more do I need?

I felt helpless, rather grumpy at times...being the only one to be clung onto it...

I honestly would do anything to make myself feel better, if there is anything I could do.

What is the point of telling myself that I am alright when I never am deep down?

At times, I wonder if I have done anything bad that I deserve to be constantly treated as a temp, more than once in my life? I appear to be alright, but I did mind and still do mind about it, no matter how hard I have tried to ignore.

I am really tired of having to appear happy and socialising around when I don't even feel like smiling.

最近感觉有点像行尸走肉....只觉得每天都很累，但却不知为了什么